Good Evening ladies & gentlemen. Ghouls & demons. Vampires & zombies. We gather here to present the HAY awards. These mementos of recognition for the terrifying haunts that try to drive us out of our minds. The greater Pittsburgh area is just littered with gruesome Halloween offerings.
Before we give you the Top 5, let us begin your torture with the: WHY DID WE MISS THIS. Due to limited moonlit nights not every offered scare made it on to our dance card. Ing- Rich's
Theresa-Chessman's Fright Farm
Both these spectacular scares get better every year. It was our loss that they did not get considered this year. Time simply got away from us. (Note: to self use the shackles next year). In truth Ing and her trusted followers managed to attend 23 haunts.
Moving on we feel the need to scream out to the very best players. Those individuals who went well beyond their required command from their masters. We are in agreement for these awarded minions.
BEST ACTOR- GAVIN AT DEMON HOUSE
In truth, I have never seen Ing that color before, after he chased her from the room.
BEST CAST- GHOUL MANSION
How they manage to make that simple maze so confusing I'll never know and with such enthusiasm.
We come now to the performances that are suitable to mixed groups. These are locations if not quite family fun, allow for LESSER varying degrees of horror.
BEST HAY RIDE- LONESOME VALLEY FARMS
BEST HAUNTED CELEBRATION –HAUNTED HAYLOFT
As avid, or should I say rabid, haunted house attendees we are often asked to give recommendations on which scare event is best for certain individuals. Usually these are newbie or at least new to area victims.
BEST OFFER BETWEEN ZOO BOO AND SEVERED HEADS: EERIE ACRES
MOST RECOMMENDED: HUNDRED ACRES MANOR
AWARD FOR TAKING BACK HALLOWEEN FOR CHRISTIANS: SEWICKLEY UNITED METHODIST CHRUCH HAUNTED HOUSE
If you been here in the area awhile you may be tempted to impale someone with a Penndot warning marker, while in search of you next event. Between construction and detours this town offers even more challenges. So we offer the award of:
WORTH THE DRIVE, IF YOU CAN FIND IT: FREDDY’S HAUNTS
Let us slither into the newest offerings. May they give us an even greater fright as they expand and consume their prey?
BEST NEW HAUNT: TERROR TOWN PITTSBURGH
MOST ANTICAPTED RETURN: BELLEVUE SPOOKTAULAR
Here I must offer a little bragging time for the terrible evil guy to tell you his horrifying plan. Also known as the technical grading on these events. We judge on different merits : Scares, Sets , Safety, Customer service, Amenities, Staff, Pricing, Website and Returnability. As Ing, often says nice matters.
Are you ready for the big scare? The hiding in the shower fright? That terrible music playing in the background? Have you checked under the bed? Here we go.
# 5-FACTORY OF TERROR
#4-HAUNTED HILLS ESTATE
# 3-GHOUL MANSION
#2-WEST VIRGINIA PENITENTIARY
And our NUMBER 1 OVERALL SCARE FOR 2011 is? The drum roll.… envelope please…. Oh, somebody catch that head…don’t slip in the blood…….what a paper cut…
There you have it. Our most Reverend Ing and her devotes have shared the most spooky season with you. Thank you for joining us in this adventure. And don’t forget that the scares don’t stop on All Souls Day. Thanks to movies filled with gore, books steeped in noir and the usual ghostly sightings the haunt is all year long. Remember to check in again regardless of the season for more scare items and events.
Boo to you for now. You better run for your life, it right behind you.